My father was quite a character. He had a great light in his spirit that not enough people got to see, in my humble opinion.

He was the type that had a bunch of sayings, and used them often. He was a smart guy… and even though the sayings were a bit cliche - he knew exactly what they meant, and used them with a lot of personality and heart.

As a kid, I just started to tune them out. It is funny to me now though - that I have so many of his sayings replaying in my mind.

One of the things he used to say to me quite passionately was “come down off your high horse”.

Only in my recent self-development and spiritual work have I realized what was embedded in these sometimes heated moments. I would guess my awareness may evolve over time, but my “today snapshot” is this:

1. He cared about me. He cared enough to tell me to do something important.
2. He sensed me judging him and others. He saw a child who thought he had all the answers to life’s problems and complexities.
3. My father was telling me to dismount my self-righteous place in my mind so as to better be able to connect with him and others.

Well dad, I am sorry I didn’t quite make the short journey in your lifetime, but I am here to tell you now - I am off!

I made it!

Of course, that high horse seems to be right behind me — and I have to work at not climbing back up, after all, the view from up there *seems* better at times… you know, looking down on the world and all. But this is where I belong. This feels right… and by right I mean good inside - in my gut. By “right”, I do not mean righteous / justified / valid / good.

You see, for some odd reason, I have spent most of my four decades on this planet feeling like I have to come up with “the answers” to life’s problems. Yeah, I know. Funny… but the world’s problems were my problems. The fate of the world rested squarely on my shoulders.

Starting with my family, extending to my job, and all the way outward - how would anything work and get better if I didn’t work tirelessly and selflessly to come up with solutions… if I didn’t busy my mind with the task of breaking down all the pointless complexity around me. I knew there were others out there like me - but we were of course to busy to find and thus help one another.

I was a text book cynic. I didn’t trust anyone or anything. If it didn’t come from my ego - it just didn’t make sense.

That was the me sitting up on my high horse. That was the me that my dad was trying to help. He reached his hand out to help me endlessly. It haunts me, in a way… just how much he always seemed to know and understand.

How did I get down?

I don’t know, really. Maybe I was knocked off :)

Whatever the case, I believe it is a natural progression and evolution on my path. These past 6 months - I have had a few extreme moments of enlightenment, a few deeply spiritual and personal experiences… but these did not change me in isolation. More so, I feel I have been moving towards this time in my life all along. I was ready for these experiences. My soul was ready to grow.

I will not claim to understand all the forces at work - in fact, that itself is a direct result of the change: I no longer feel the need to know or understand everything.

Because of this, something magical is happening - I am suddenly open to so much more of what life has to offer. All possibilities become available - because I am no longer only seeing what my mind understands. I am Allowing into my life ALL POSSIBILITIES without fear. Now I understand the only real power I have in life is the power to choose how and where I focus my energy. This is also absolute liberation.

As I let in all possibilities, I am also seeing the amazing order and way of things. You can call it whatever you like - God, the Tao, or just call it Love.

You see, I used to be afraid to believe in anything because I didn’t Know. My old self had to Know for sure - because after all, the world was depending on me to get it all right. I HAD TO BE RIGHT. Because I had to be right, I had to know for sure. Because I had to know for sure, I blocked it all out! I had too many mental filters to let it all in.

Now, I don’t care if I am right or wrong. What I care about is doing the best I can. That’s it. I want to feel the best I can. Be as healthy as I can. Do the best I can do for everyone I care about. And it all starts at the center of me.

Now it is easy to believe in my intuition and gut feelings about the world around me because I don’t have to be right to the world. I just have to be right to me… to the me that I am today.

I don’t have to convince anyone else of what I know and experience and feel. Because of this, I am free to know and experience and feel so much more than ever before in my life.

It is like a Chinese finger puzzle. The harder to pull the more stuck you get. When you let go, you are free. When you let go, and when you are free - you see how it really works - you see the truth.

Another way to say this is that you cannot see the truth when you are trying to see the truth. But for me, it came flowing in the moment I truly let go.

Another wonderful shift in my life is that I am surrounded by loving-teaching-learning people in all directions. I see more than ever that every single person is on their own journey in this life.

I feel deeply grateful for all of my interactions on a daily basis. I see how every single person is a teacher and a student. We are all drawn to one another in the right order at the right time.

Although they are no longer here physically, I am learning from my mother and father even now. Here there is a richness and abundance of love and wisdom available to me — if I am ready and open — *if I am grounded* - if I am not sitting up on my high horse!

This is my “coming down off my high horse” story. I know my dad is smiling. And with this, I am sending out a very heartfelt song of appreciation for this amazingly transformative time in my life.