I awoke in the middle of the night last night, running over and over the same thoughts in my mind about a current situation. My inner dialogue sounded like a broken record. I just keep wanting to turn back the hands of time, or hit the hurry-up button… but both are clear signs I am even now still struggling to accept the here and now.

So after some time feeling like I was spinning my wheels, and sinking deeper into the mud of the ego-mind… I wondered if looking around my life through the lens of gratitude might not help. Then, I recalled this bit from the Way of the Circle:

“When you arise each morning, give thanks to the Creator, to the four sacred directions, to Mother Earth and Father Sky and all your relations.

Remember that all things are connected.”

In my sleepiness, I began to consider “all my relations”, all those that came before me… all the life force and energy that has transpired, and in effect, brought about this life I think of as my own. I thought about all of the circumstances and coincidences, the illnesses, the victories and defeats that took place generation after generation for as far back as we can humanly imagine.

Then I began to think of all that sustains me even now. Friends new and old. Work. A warm bed in which to rest at night. Food.

I thought for a while about how it *is* all connected. About how this is not just a catchy phrase, but about how when I am in my bed, I am one with it. About how when I am openly with another, I am one with that experience.

Little by little, as I considered all that has brought me to this moment in time, and all that sustains my life now, the frustration and anxiety I was feeling eased. Rather than a quick academic snap into the Now moment, I walked a slow path, paved with stones of compassion and gratitude towards those that have given and lived before and around me.

No matter how I arrive, I gain the same benefits from awareness of and acceptance of the Now, of that which is. I stop fighting my reality. I stop wanting to control it. Being is lighter than becoming. More spacious.

I find that I am far more able to appreciate the gifts all around me.

No longer do I want to turn back the hands of time, or hit the hurry-up button. Things really are just right - how can they be any other way? How can I get to any other point in my life without first walking through this moment? And in walking through this moment, why would I not want to breathe in deeply, breathing in the world around me, and then letting go just as easily as I take it all in?

Near where I live is a substantial river. I visit it often, and at this time of year, when everything around it is frozen and still, it is a beautiful sight to see the power at work in the river, as it flows through the harshest of cold air, and moves the water from source to destination (which eventually arrives back at the source :)

When times are difficult, I find myself remembering that river is not the water.

If I were to desire the water rather than be open to the beauty of the river… and if I were to try to stop up the river so as to cling to and hold the water near, the river would die, as would everything that depends on it downstream.

~~~

“My religion consists of a humble admiration of the unlimitable superior who reveals Himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional conviction of the presence of a superior reasoning power, which is revealed in the incomprehensible universe, forms my idea of God.”

~ Albert Einstein

~~~