It’s been quite some time since I have posted here. I have been on a bit of a journey, but what stands out to me the most of all, at this odd juncture, is how the world in which I live seems to be expanding beyond my own imagination.

I have momentary flashes these past few weeks when I feel like I am standing in between two places, and when I look back, I see where I have been, and all I can feel is how small the world was in my eyes at that time. When I look ahead, my vision is not yet clear, but my heart is filled with a joy that is beyond words.

These words of Abraham stand out to me “you cannot become less than what you have become”, or something quite like that.

I should note that I am reading a book by Paulo Coelho called The Alchemist. It is a simple yet profound book, at least for me.

It is such a joy to be reading a story, and to encounter characters who say things like:

“When you want something, all the Universe conspires to help you achieve it”.

Another gem is this line:

“The boy was beginning to understand that intuition is really a sudden immersion of the soul into the universal current of life, where the histories of all people are connected, and we are able to know everything, because it is all written there.”

I know it is not just this book that has my imagination on fire, but it is the intersection of where I am right here and right now, along with the unfolding of the story being told.

Mystery is all too often subjugated in our culture to a place of sentimentality, or as meeting the needs of those who seek to escape from the world.

From where I stand at this juncture in the unfolding, my experience is far from that… to me, it seems that the Mystery is that place where the world reveals itself as it really is.

This may be counter-intuitive, as so many of us march around acting like we know the mundane nature of this world all too well. We reach our grand conclusions at a young age, and proceed to stomp about telling the world how we expect it to behave, based on our grand conclusions. For many of us, we then end up wondering why we feel so drained and empty at the end of the day.

When we fight against the current of the world, we are separating ourselves from its wisdom and power, and engaging in a fruitless battle to be right and exert our stand alone ideas onto it, and all too often, onto others.

This is at least what some of my life experience has been… too much fighting “what is”, and not enough letting it in. And the miracle of the day for me is that I see it in a new way today, and wonder why, with a smile, have I been so stubborn?

Easy to respond with the intellect and say “fear”, and like so many of the illusions of the intellect, there is some truth to such a response, but the real truth is deeper. It is more than fear. It stems from attaching myself all too often to the forms of the world, to the objects and things and to my projections of what I think others think.

In other words, it has been much like walking onto a stage of a play in motion, and interacting with the props and the backdrop and with the *roles* that others are playing, and walking away wondering why the play did not go as I had intended and why I don’t know any of the actors.

My own personal experience has been one of walking onto many sets such as this, and donning the wardrobe and costumes needed to play my part, and moving onto the next, and doing the same.

The funny thing is, at the end of it all, I am standing there with a dozen costumes on, one on top of the other, wondering why I feel so bogged down, and reading the reviews of the critics, and letting it all weigh me down.

Life does not have to be this way. Maybe I have known only dramas in my past, but what I see opening up in front of me are endless roles, endless opportunities to learn and grow… and I see knew people emerging from behind their masks, kind and wise and cool people that have been there all along.

On days like this, it feels like this ride is just getting started.

Tomorrow is a new day. I want you to think about what that means.

It is a day that has never happened before. And it will never happen again. No matter how hard you might try, you could not have the same day any two days in a row. You will know more tomorrow than you know today. Opportunities will be there tomorrow that do not exist today.

Every day is a new day.

The journey through life is not about controlling the view. But if you were fortunate enough to see what is there for you… well, that would be a journey worth the while.

When things are good for you, you may realize these things. The real challenge in life is to know these things deeply so that even when things are hard, you still know them. That is the nature of truth. It is never a matter of convenience. The truth is always true.

If you find yourself out of synch with the truth, it is time to reset yourself. The key to this act is to do so very forgivingly. Your temptation might be to try to assess how you got off track. This is of no consequence. We all get off track. That is part of the journey. It is experimentation. It is questioning. It is our nature.

But when you are out of synch with the truth, you will know it. It will manifest itself differently in different people. I do not know you well enough to say how it affects you… but you probably already know. Maybe you do not sleep well. Maybe you are anxious for no apparent reason. Or perhaps, your dreams are telling you. However the message is delivered, it is important that you hear it, and take action.

If you are old enough to have ever used a record player, you know, the kind that used a needle… then you can think of this resetting action as lifting the arm and placing the needle back in the groove of the vinyl. You know it when you get it because the song sounds right again, immediately.

Or to use a more modern analogy, you can think of it as rebooting your computer. You are letting go of accumulated junk and refocusing on that which is important, and more so, you doing all of this in the spirit of love and creativity.

The point of this writing is that each and every day presents to you a natural opportunity to reset yourself.

If you find yourself engaging in dysfunctional patterns, the try this exercise.

Pick one of these patterns. Try to pick something that is measurable, something focused. For example, maybe you find that you frequently tell yourself, or someone else, something negative and highly generalized… such as “rich people get all the breaks”, or “you are lazy”, or whatever…. then this is a good test case. Or maybe you find that nearly everyday you engage in some other destructive act… maybe you are overweight, and still eat junk food that you know is bad for you. Whatever the thing, what matters is that you pick something focused and measurable. Maybe journal for a week or so to become even more aware of the thing. All the while, track this from a distance, as an observer. Do not judge yourself during this phase.

So, now you have selected this bothersome thing. And, you have observed it. Next, decide whether or not you want this pattern or cycle to be in your life. The more honest your assessment, the more likely you will say no.

Here you may want to employ some creative act. Sometimes ceremonies help us solidify our conceptual experiences. Sometimes it is important to take an emotional thing and see it and feel it in the “real” world. Here you might want to draw, paint, or even just write this thing down…. and then destroy it. Burn it. Shred it. Whatever you like. Just make real the emotional decision to kill this pattern. Go to sleep, and the next day… just stop. That’s it.

I promise that if you are careful to pick something focused and specific, and if you take your time honestly observing this thing, then if you want to, you can kill it off. You are the source of its energy… and just as you keep it alive from day to day, and year to year, you can also just as easily kill it off.

This can be a powerful experience, so I suggest you start small. Practice this, and it will become a powerful tool for you as you evolve over your lifetime.

Bear in mind, this exercise is aimed at removing dysfunctional behaviors, but such behaviors are always rooted in something deeper. You may certainly benefit from a deeper understanding of the root cause of such things, but what I am saying here is that you can also make the choice to take ownership of your life. You do not need to seek permission to kill off the monsters you have created.

~ ~ ~ ~

Apparently - I wrote this piece in February of 2005. I am not sure who the intended audience was - or if it was me writing to my future self. In any event, I was pleased to stumble across it today, and wanted to share it here!

If you like - please consider voting for it too at high vibe it!

I am wanting to share a joy I have experienced today.

I fell asleep early last night, and slept very soundly. I woke up without an alarm around 4:30, and remembered this crazy idea I had last night that maybe I could run first thing in the morning.

I have NEVER been a morning runner. I can barely talk or walk straight until I sit for a few minutes with a cup of coffee… but the spirit moved me, so I got up and dressed lightly for a summer morning run.

When I stepped outside, I could feel the rain moving in - and saw lightning off in the distance, but it felt more like a dream than reality, so off I went.

Today’s run felt quite like the past ten months of my life.

Started out normal… but the wind moved in quickly. In an instant, the warmth of my bed and the safety of my home were behind me, and the unknown stretched out before me. The rain, like sorrow, poored down from above - but I knew I had to keep going. I knew my destination was to come back home… so I chose to enjoy the journey and take it all in.

The bursts of lightning illuminated the night sky, revealing large dark clouds that I did not know were there. But this storm did not come for me. I was in it… but not its target. Indeed, I could feel the fields of tall grass soaking up the rain, and see the flowers twisting and turning in the wind… no more ready to give up than I.

There were periods that the rain fell so sharply that I had to close my eyes. Running with my eyes closed in the twighlight of this strange transition from sleep to wakefulness… I had to trust that I was on the right path, and sense the ground beneath my feet.

Never for a moment did I tense up or feel ill at ease. In fact, I almost lost myself completely in the thick morning air. The rain drenched my exterior as I prayed for it to wash away the pain inside. Take the poison from my blood, I begged with an open heart.

I marveled at the beauty and complexity of the human form as the water hit every inch of my body, yet I breathed in deeply as I ran, knowing the oxygen was flowing to my muscles and skin. Feeling no desire to slow down or speed up, I just ran and ran until eventually my path brought me to my street. The place where my friends and neighbors live. The place where I have built my home.

This journey has its risks… we do not control what happens in the world around us… but we always have the freedom to choose how and who we are in this world. Even in the rain of sorrow, we can learn from life and find joy in the moments.

I feel blessed by this experience, and grateful that I have yet another shot to make this life what I want it to be.

Out of the mindlessness of sleep comes the wanting to be awake. From the soaking cold rain of sorrow comes a deep desire for sunny days. There is no right or wrong as we travel through the storms of life, but there is beauty all around us.

This was passed to me by a friend who knows my journey.

It is taken from this url - http://www.rainbowbody.net/Ongwhehonwhe/Earthbase.htm

This was passed on by Chief Joe Chasing Horse, a relative of Crazy Horse. He translated it from the words of a grandmother who was present when the words were spoken.

This is a statement of Crazy Horse as he sat smoking the sacred pipe at Paha Sapa with Sitting Bull for the last time, 4 days before he was assassinated. Many of these words are often repeated. There is one line often left out, that of the “young white ones”.

“Upon suffering beyond suffering; the Red Nation shall rise again and it shall be a blessing for a sick world. A world filled with broken promises, selfishness and separations. A world longing for light again. I see a time of seven generations when all the colors of mankind will gather under the sacred Tree of Life and the whole Earth will become one circle again. In that day there will be those among the Lakota who will carry knowledge and understanding of unity among all living things, and the young white ones will come to those of my people and ask for this wisdom. I salute the light within your eyes where the whole universe dwells. For when you are at that center within you and I am in that place within me, we shall be as one.”

– Crazy Horse

I too feel that the world is sick from broken promises, selfishness, and separations. These words bring a healing energy to my heart at a much needed time.

Thank you to my friend who understands where I am, and what lies within my heart of hearts. And thank you to each and every person that has supported me on this journey. It is my journey to travel alone, but we are all in this together. And I too long for that day that “we shall be as one”.

While running the other day, I watched the birds flying near the path where I run.

I loved watching how they responded when encountering a gust of wind… they have so many choices, and you can almost feel the joy when you see one push up against the wind and climb higher in the sky with so little apparent effort.

It seems to me that I have too often missed the many dimensions presented to me in life when the wind gusts up against me.

I sometimes feel like I have to turn right or left. Or sometimes, I feel like my decisions will take me forward or backward… as if there is someplace to get to in life.

But for some reason, while running, I see that our choices also have a way of taking us to higher ground.

By higher ground, I do not mean this in a comparative way. I don’t mean that I want to go higher than you, or him, or her. I mean - a higher place for my own soul. A place where my soul sees the bigger picture. A view from which my fears and anxieties fall into place, and the puzzle of life makes sense.

The choices that take us higher aren’t always apparent or obvious. In fact, they can be invisible. I believe you just have to trust your instincts sometimes.

I have never surfed, but I am guessing it is a little like surfing… you just have to have a feel for your life, for the flow of events around you… and when the time is right, you just push or let go or lift up… whatever it is, you know it when you hit it just right.

When describing this to a friend of mine, she suggested it is like flying a kite. You do not control the wind, but you learn how to allow your kite to soar based on a few simple movements.

This is my challenge - the new game in my life.

I cannot expect others in my life to change their ways or methods. It doesn’t matter how right or wrong their behavior or choices seems to be. Change is up to them.

And just as I cannot change their methods, I can neither predict the push or pull I will feel as a result of the choices of others. The world will always push and pull at me. I can react. Or, I can respond. This is the choice that makes all of the difference in the world.

When the wind gusts up against the birds I see flying near the path where I run, it does not seem to me that they are reacting to the changes in the force and direction of the wind. It feels to me that they are responding. They are one with it, and use it to go where they want.

But it is not only the world around me — and the behavior and choices of others that present this choice to me. I am up against many of my own judgments and assumptions about people and life… which is another way of saying that I am up against my judgments and assumptions about myself. The world outside is a reflection of the world inside. They are one reality split into the appearance of duality.

As I reflect on these things, I find myself more open to responding, rather than reacting. This openness brings with it a greater openness to the life that is going on around me all of the time. And with that comes a far greater openness to my own future.

Today marks the first day in a long time that I feel truly open to my own future. I find myself now thinking ahead in a far more open, loving, and joyful way… rather than in a fearful anxiety-ridden way.

This is significant.

Like that beautiful bird I witnessed while running on the path… that strong looking black bird with the bright red patches on its shoulders… it took off from the thinnest of flowers and flew into the sky, and when the wind gusted up against him, he effortlessly turned right into the gust and climbed ever higher.

What a view he must have had of that beautiful sunset.